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Showing posts from 2008


After a hectic travel week to Guj and weekend in Hyd, i was supposed to be shaken back to work; shaken back!.Supposed to be shaken out of the dull monotonous STILL-ness!
STILL the feeling of a suspended particle does not go. I am here! Just!
like monu so aptly puts it: "life in Third Gear; ur moving and just that is it; not to fast; not to slow! just there"
I tried the "Mumbai Local rush hour treatment" to shake myself into life. Instead it pushed me further into "the viewer / observer" mode.
Seeing life pass by. Not that i am not involved. I am too busy. But my mind seems to be working faster.
Its like how Neo Feels like at in the last part, he is just fighting effortlesly!
its STILL missing!


Some of us may relate to this picture in another sense. Magnetism maybe!
But this is the closed image that has been coming in my mind, over the events of a few months.
You may have heard, ( the teacher post below), some lessons repeat till u dont pass them.
Its iterations. They talk about Karma. We go through the cycles of life and death over and over again till we ( supposedly) purify!
I think we get this opportunity everyday. You will see it when you believe it

The Teacher

Have ever Flunked/Failed?
Where? In School? That "F" Grade in the report card? When that happened, what you needed to do? Repeat the class (or the subject) Right?

Now have you ever noticed, somethings ; some people ; some situations ; some "TYPE" of people REPEAT in your life!
Like you change your job but still have a typical type of colleague / boss/ subordinate again.
Always get into same / similar problems.
you change ur mate and end up getting a similar one again!

You have been ;and life wants you to learn yourself; on your own.
Life is this smart teacher that way. It does not show you and "F"; simply; silently and smartly makes you repeat!
Its up to us, the faster we learn; the faster you graduate to the next level in life.


It happens with me often, that i go into the spiral of thoughts.
Today's Trigger : The National Anthem (that plays before Any Movie in the theater; i think it happens all over maharshtra)
I am usually looked upon as a NON-Patriot! What a shame! Are you not proud of your Great country; motherland.. etc.
Well i wont even go in the direction that Points to How Great is "Eendia" coz of the polly-ticks and all that Jing Bang.
AS always i'll go in a different tangent.....

We love to divide ourselves in groups. Dont we? Right from our Skooldez: Class; section; (red/yellow) house; his team ; her team; right upto: compaineez; uniforms; cadres.. and so on.
And we dont jut stop there. No!
I am not talking about housing societies and religions, it goes upto countries ; walls; armies and everything. (someone said patriotic.. ok.. read on)

Why do we group up as human beings? And make teams. -----------------------------One of the Questions!
Are we afraid? (Smiles again)
(by the way…


bomb blasts happened yesterday and today in blore and ahmdabad
i returned a few days ago from a famili get-to/vacation from out of India, where we met this guy who works for 15 months and travels for the next 12 and repeats, coz that is what he lieks to do. He has ony done 34 countries till now.

Just now i was talking to my local grocer while buying some lemons to try the new tequila, he was relating about the blasts he witnessed in Mulund and the macabre that was!

i realised that human lives are such local phenomenon. Only due to cognitive behaviour, and advancements our IQz are better now.
but still
our lives and very trivial
trivial enuff to be lost
lost in making ourselves in line with expectations of
the normal
of the PEOPLE/norms/
of those patterns which have been found common and set to normalise things

Not those spikes in patterns which have brought about all the changes in lives/technology and learnings
It is human
to live by and in
by and in

did u know that our brain stops processi…
So many modes of lives and people.

Amidst everything and nothing happening in my life i realized a little more.

While India wakes up to the fact that becoming an engineer or a doctor is not just THE means to earning, being a cricketer or a TV artist are other alternate paths.

Its easy to say that east moves west and west moves east; the sine-wave is so perennial!
( if this weird cycles that run in my head interest this read this )

I met my ex-boss yesterday and one of the offshoots of the convo brought back his ideology on the fore ground that you should be clear as to what you want in your life in the next 1-2-5-10 years!
Only then you'll head there!
While i was juggling to find out myself, weather i liked mumbai or delhi or chandigarh or europe or Japan as a place to settle down in my life

after changing four jobs i still dont know if i like this one or what i reely wanna do in my lief!

Junji was saying that day while telling my his dad in law in chandigarh fell reely ill and he and h…

The awakening

I was telling Junji, talking to him yesterday; that how lifes meaning can change immidiately by change of perception of : our simple looking complex views ( and complex looking simple views as well) ( gosh!! why am i always liek this!!)

He told me," राजन सर भी यही के रहे थे जब मई उन्हें मिला दिल्ली में " इट्स कॉल्ड the awakening!

We laughed!

But it remains!!

If I, today, decide to chuck everything..... then...?

this customer was telling me the other day , "now that i have put that 10000 sq feet land on rent, i have a constant incomei have made my future safe"
My colleague said, " वोह तो आप पिछली बरी भी कह रहे थे "

I Smiled to self!

It never ends.. does it?
Why dont i stop worrying about making my fuuture safe, and just use the money i have to travel the world!
Vsisit Japan, go Europe backpacking.
And live by doing whatever oddjobs are needed to earn a living!
Its a means to an end na?


It was another on the bucketlist, i thought.
walked for half an hour in the rain.
got up and walked out, it was pouring

I wacthed all around me people, trying to cover themselves from water.
rushing out of shops into cars.... so that they dont get wet
and here I was.
went to the atm, the gaurd said, आप तोः पूरा भीग गए !
i wore my glasses to see the atm, ha! walked out and walked
and walked.
solitude and rain. it was intresting

Are you having a bad day?

When you have a really bad day when you just need to take it out on someone! Don't take that bad day out on someone you know, take it out on someone you DON'T know...
Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found thenumber and dialed it. A man answered saying, "Hello?" I politely said, "This is Fred Hanifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?"
Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe that anyonecould be that rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits incorrectly. After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I decided to call it again.When the same person oncemore answered, I yelled "You're an asshole!" and hung up. Next to his phone number I wrote the word "asshole," and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really …


have had a lot of movement all last fortnight.
Was also in a movie theatre multiple times. You know the tradition we have in Maharashtra... the National Anthem.
Then started the movie about "Stark Industries" ( if you have seen it you know it)
Prolly another Hindi movie black and white and not to mention Khudakeliye.
With all this inside the head, and me travelling here and there meeting different people for work is heady mix.

Its usually found in the newspaper: racist comments were passed.
What race are we talking about?
I mean Hello, i thought we were all humans! Its one race ain't it?

We keep making different groups, communities, cultures, languages, boundaries, countries, flags, national anthems, etc etc etc.

You know why?
Because we are all Cowards! yes! I said it.
We need to make a group, to stand together to fight the odds.
What started as a group to fight adversaries of animals, environment etc has today become something very different.

It is strange that prolly we are the on…


Its been like static.
The need to define. What I want in my life partner.
I think now, everyone i know and don't know has already questioned me about the woman of my life.
I have some very interesting set of friends with different views. So many girls/women i know have their own versions of who women are and what they should be.
Without going towards the works of Desmond Morris, I have my own opinion.

Some may find this opinion sexist, but fact remains that a woman is not a man.
Having said that, I will not go into much detail of what is manly work or womanly work. Lets not try and get into the nitty-gritty. Right from cleaning houses, cooking etc to riding a bike, or driving a train or a plane or even building huge empires (read companies in today's context).
Both men and women can do all that.
Though not all MEN and all WOMEN can do all.
So many women i know just cannot maintain houses or cook or do all those "things" which are type-casted as their role.

THIS is where the ke…

Join the Dots

Its not just about Wayne Dyer's , " You will see it when you believe it"! Its everywhere around me or us.

It was a common scene, around 11PM, I had just updated my RKD, and ~ 3 odd chat windows were open. I realised that it was more than 'very long' that i was staring in what was written as "SAMSUNG"!
But i was not there, i was teletransported to a past incident.
~ circa 1996
i recall my often visited friend Rahul, he was sitting in front of his desktop, busy with Yahoo chatrooms open and with quite few chat windows open as well, briskly typing quirky remarks here and there. I used to think, how can he just go on chatting so so many unknowns!

And here i was !! dunno what i wished, or he wished!

And then it kept spilling, from all corners : the Vaio that i deeply desired, the guitar that reached my house( and is still lying there), where I live now, where all i have travlled, all my job changes, my movement to Mumbai, So much that I see around me.Just about…

Conspiracy Theory

““When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.””
Paulo Coelho quotesNow Situation:A person wants ( deeply desires ) something and... yes.. the UNI-verse* CONS-pyres* to hellP* achieve !!And now the other person deeply desires / wants / wishes another thing, which is in complete conflict of "A person"'s Deep desire!??Pertinent question arose out of two situations: 1. When father living in one city had a sleepless night as he was deeply worried about something: Son #1( oblivious about father's worries) in city #2 also had sleepless night and had negative thoughts about father. Son# 2 ( also oblivious about father's worries) in City #3 all-so* could not Sleep.2. Girl and boy are nearly seeing each other, but break off. Much later girl's brother (husband) and girl's SIL (wife) are concerned about girl as she is going through a rough patch! Now Husband and WIFE who know boy very well, persuade him. They deeply desire th…

Why Marriage

"Social reality evolved between two to four million years ago, when a species of 'Southern Ape' ( Australopithecus afarensis) began to walk on two legs. At that time, the early hominids developed complex brains, tool-making skills and language, while the helplessness of their prematurely born infants led to the formation of the supportive families and communities that became the foundation of human SOCIAL LIFE" pg 3, the hidden connections by Fritjof Capra

It is worth noticing that humans are among the very rare species whose children spend the longest time ever to become independent!

They need a support system. Family! Society!

the supposed inflection point / change referred above billions of years ago is causing those billions of people i am in contact with whose names start from A to Z and any other letter known to tell me that I SHOULD GET MARRIED!!
Can you beat that? Beat that here is beat the inflection that happened THEN!


Its simpler with computers..
Cold Reboot: as the call it! Gazillions of tinier than tiny Switches who are lying in a extremely random looking but carrying significant amount of information in the forms of "ON" or "OFF' are simultaneously RE_SET into an extremely known looking pattern

( just imagine: the complete sky filled with a zillion more stars twinkling at unknown frequencies; suddenly switch on to form a known pattern)

I have been like that for quite a while now ( scattered Random lights)

Talked to "junji" after a few days for long enough to start talking in our wonderful puzzles between puzzles and enjoyed!

Seemed to have reset some of those lights. Feeling a little saner now; only a little.

Somehow; I miss my types. And just cant seemed to find them...

need to work on self rebooting techniques...


The Smell..
Of chilly air
Of Wood burning

The Beat
Of the Dhol
Of your heart
Of your feet

The Warmth
Of the fire burning
Of the smiles Turning
Of the cat calls of the Chaddi-Buddies

And I am Here..
at 30 Degrees of heat
and Unknown Degrees of seperation


in the Sea- of people.. amid people running helter skelter to meet the ends ......... ends of the dreams that keep changing with every new sparkle that gets visible!

What am I doing here?

Reeta's Tag!

चलो जी रीता ताई के टैग का नंबर भी आ गया!! The pic looks prolly like a usual one. This is 5:30 AM in the morning at restricted site on the east coast. The Sea recedes at low tide during morning to more than 10 KM's. My late( yes yes this is late) morning walk here with the breeze rushing thru the years and with JUST ME at the WHOLE sea shore, was an experiance that just cannot be worded! I was here for 3 days..... Nearly Alone.....


I have experianced them aplenty
And I am sure you all have too..

The life around you is too fast but your mind is able to capture those tiny details and you are existing in both the domains.

Music- fast but... your mind .. enjoying some of the slower paced moments of life.

Traffic -Everyone Impatiently trying to get 'There' faster and you are calm in your sphere..

'Your Sphere'!

Do you live in ur Sphere? Your world defined by you!

Or you live a life Defined by the World around?

What are your parameters of life?

Do you know?