Thursday, October 28, 2010

Lazy afternoons

Slept in the afternoon today after many weekends. And slept well. When I woke up I was in a blur, like where I am types.
I remembered that there was a time many years ago: the lazy hot summer holidays. They would come every year. I have vivid memories of those times when it was way too hot to play outside and we would be indoors and there was the 'sound of the fan'. I am not sure if some of you have ever heard the sound of the fan. It has a unique association in my mind. Like some people have their minds run away in the sway when they look at the sea or the sky or even the moon! Well long ago the sound of the fan in the hot summer would put me into those blank long shot moments. The continuous sound is similar to a trance causing repetitive sound.
Now when I think about it or get a very very very rare opportunity to experience the same, I feel that it was an era that has long passed.
An era when there was 'TIME'.
I feel we have lost it now. There is very little of it left. Just like those summers, when we would come back inside from the very dry Sunny outside and drink water. In no time the water bottle would finish and we would discover that we are parched and thirsty. Today I feel like that, thirsty for more time.
Difference is that we cannot pick up another bottle of water, let alone the cold water from a fridge!
Has the time changed? I doubt. The sun, the fan and the water bottle are still there.
The restless self has moved further away and become more restless.
I remember studying about entropy always tends to increase and increase.
Someone reading this might just feel a disconnect in this post.
when I started to write about the same a few weeks ago, well I just did not have the time to finish it. Yes, irony it is. And now I sit in front of the fridge full of waterbottles, but it is different. The air is conditioned and so are the cars and the thirst has changed.
I sit in the metro in delhi now, with about one and a half hour of time to kill and I opened this half finished post where I was giving the crib on missing time.
Life I guess is always like this. I now have the time but not a good network to call the ones I need to, not the space to open the laptop and finish my work.
I guess this post was destined to be written and the universe made this happen. Just like the universe is making you read this!
The universe!
Well I don't know how you relate to the fan, the fridge and the universe.
But they all exist in their own realms of reality.
The train is filling up now and my stop is still faraway.
I see the feet of so many move in and out clatter away unaware of the universe. They are busy searching for their fridge in the hunt to quench their thirst, knowing little that it never happens. Its the cycle. Like a water cycle that we may have studied early in school... Water evaporates... Clouds are formed and then rain and then it evaporates again. Where does it begin you may ask, but you only get water.
Which water?
Like you used to get in the fridge? Do you?
But you never get the answers.
As there are no answers
There is only flow
There is only the cycle.
The trinity of brahma vishnu and Mahesh.
The creater, the sustainer and the destroyer.
That is what it comes down to
The cycle.
But do the struggling feet and grappling hands around me know where they are in the cycle?
They are chasing the bottles in fridge only to discover that the water they get will become non desirable by the time they reach it.
the cycle goes on, only some wake up to discover.
To discover that ignorance is bliss and they were happy knowing not knowing.
so where are you?