Skip to main content

Are you having a bad day?

When you have a really bad day when you just need to take it out on someone! Don't take that bad day out on someone you know, take it out on someone you DON'T know...
Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found thenumber and dialed it. A man answered saying, "Hello?" I politely said, "This is Fred Hanifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?"
Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe that anyonecould be that rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits incorrectly. After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I decided to call it again.When the same person oncemore answered, I yelled "You're an asshole!" and hung up. Next to his phone number I wrote the word "asshole," and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really bad day, I'd call him up. He'd answer, and I'd yell, "You're an asshole!"
It would always cheer me up. Later in the year the Phone Company introduced caIler ID. This was a real setback for me; I would have to stop calling the asshole. Then one day I had an idea. I dialed his number and when I heard his voice, "Hello?" I made up a name. "Hi. I'm with the Telephone Company and I'm just calling to see if you'd be interested in our caller ID program?"
"No!" he shouted and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"
Keep reading this, it gets better!........
An old lady at the shopping center really took her time pulling out of a parking space. I didn't thinkshe was ever going to leave. Finally, her car began to move and she started to very slowly back out of the slot. I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull out. "Great", I thought, she's finally leaving.All of a sudden this black BMW comes flying up the parking aisle in the wrong direction and pulls into her space. I hit the horn and started yelling, "You can't do that. I was here first!" The guy climbed out of his BMW completely ignoring me. He walked toward the shopping center as if I didn't even exist.I thought to myself, this guy's another asshole; there sure are a lot of assholes in this world.
Then I noticed he had a "For Sale" sign in the back window of his car. I wrote down the phone number. Then I hunted for another place to park. A couple of days later, I'm sitting at my desk. I had just gotten off the phone after calling 6201606 and yelling, "You're an asshole!" (It's really easy since I have his number on speed dial now.) I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black BMW there on my desk and thought I'd better call this guy, too. After a couple ringssomeone answered the phone and said, "Hello." I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
"Yes, it is.""Can you tell me where I can see it?""Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street. It's a yellow house and the car's parked right out front."I said, "What's your name?" "My name is Don Hansen.""When's a good time to catch you, Don?" "I'm home in the evenings.""Listen Don, can I tell you something?" "Sure...""Don, you're an asshole!" And I slammed the phone down. Then, I added Don Hansen's number to my speed dialer. I must say, for a while things seemed to be going much better for me. Now when I had a problem I had two assholes to call. Then, after several months of calling the assholes and hanging up on them, it just wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. I gave the problem someserious thought and came up with this solution:
First, I had my phone speeddial asshole #1. A man answered nicely,"Hello?" I yelled "You're anasshole!", but I didn't hang up. The asshole said, "Are you still there?" I said, "Yeah."He said, "Stop calling me." I said, "Make me." He said, "What's your name, pal?"So I told him, "Don Hansen." He said, "Where do you live?" "1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and my black BMW's parked out front." "I'm coming over right now, Don. You'd better startsaying your prayers." "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole!", and I hung up.Then I called asshole #2. Don Hansen answered, "Hello?" I said, "Hello, asshole."He said, "If I ever find out who you are..." "You'll what?" "I'll kick your ass.""Well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now, asshole."And I hung up. Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them I was on my way to 1802 West 34th Street and that I was going to kill my gay lover as soon as I got there. Another quick call to Channel 13 about the gang war going on down on West 34th Street... Afterthat I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to watch the whole thing.
Glorious satisfaction!Watching two assholes kicking the crap out of each other in front of 6 squad cars, a police helicopter and a news crew was one of the greatest experiences of my life!
Well, Now you know what to do if you have a really bad day !!!

Comments

Reeta Skeeter said…
:) LMAO
good one..
wish you'd really do the same ;)
Neha said…
that was awesome!!
rhapsode said…
Hey altering!
You're an asshole :D !
rhapsode said…
I found mine for today! have you ?

Popular posts from this blog

Flags, boundaries, armies, Idiocracy

I am not sure if you have heard of the Movie Idiocracy 
But watching the Political news around me makes me wonder so many times... on how the equation of smart and dumb people in the world stands?

I am not a social scientist; but when I see people around me creating more and more divisions and boundaries, I feel we are heading the wrong way.

For example, I have had very deviant views for words like Patriotism. The love of your country is what is usually means. But people interpret it as protection of their country from other countries!

The only species to kill (not one) but many of its own.

What about recognizing ourselves as one species inhabiting one planet.

Do you think we can ever live as one? Why do we need someone above us? Why do we need rulers, presidents, prime ministers, etc.

We cannot live on our own without wanting to kill each other for resources?

What will bring our infighting down? Lower population, Aliens, appearance of GOD ?

It is Sad

Oldest Memory Tag

This is an interesting tag, as we might have dust out our memory bank.

Rules: Oh you want rules here also, Nah! Just do it and tag any number of people u wish to, BUT YOU are TAGGED.

You have to list out YOUR oldest memory. What is the first thing you recall?( like you might
jave winked at the nurse, right after you were born)..

I have posted my oldest memory here.

I tag all BUFers, Trinnie, MOI, JAS, Radha, Starry Nights, anyone who would want to!!