Thursday, October 28, 2010

Lazy afternoons

Slept in the afternoon today after many weekends. And slept well. When I woke up I was in a blur, like where I am types.
I remembered that there was a time many years ago: the lazy hot summer holidays. They would come every year. I have vivid memories of those times when it was way too hot to play outside and we would be indoors and there was the 'sound of the fan'. I am not sure if some of you have ever heard the sound of the fan. It has a unique association in my mind. Like some people have their minds run away in the sway when they look at the sea or the sky or even the moon! Well long ago the sound of the fan in the hot summer would put me into those blank long shot moments. The continuous sound is similar to a trance causing repetitive sound.
Now when I think about it or get a very very very rare opportunity to experience the same, I feel that it was an era that has long passed.
An era when there was 'TIME'.
I feel we have lost it now. There is very little of it left. Just like those summers, when we would come back inside from the very dry Sunny outside and drink water. In no time the water bottle would finish and we would discover that we are parched and thirsty. Today I feel like that, thirsty for more time.
Difference is that we cannot pick up another bottle of water, let alone the cold water from a fridge!
Has the time changed? I doubt. The sun, the fan and the water bottle are still there.
The restless self has moved further away and become more restless.
I remember studying about entropy always tends to increase and increase.
Someone reading this might just feel a disconnect in this post.
when I started to write about the same a few weeks ago, well I just did not have the time to finish it. Yes, irony it is. And now I sit in front of the fridge full of waterbottles, but it is different. The air is conditioned and so are the cars and the thirst has changed.
I sit in the metro in delhi now, with about one and a half hour of time to kill and I opened this half finished post where I was giving the crib on missing time.
Life I guess is always like this. I now have the time but not a good network to call the ones I need to, not the space to open the laptop and finish my work.
I guess this post was destined to be written and the universe made this happen. Just like the universe is making you read this!
The universe!
Well I don't know how you relate to the fan, the fridge and the universe.
But they all exist in their own realms of reality.
The train is filling up now and my stop is still faraway.
I see the feet of so many move in and out clatter away unaware of the universe. They are busy searching for their fridge in the hunt to quench their thirst, knowing little that it never happens. Its the cycle. Like a water cycle that we may have studied early in school... Water evaporates... Clouds are formed and then rain and then it evaporates again. Where does it begin you may ask, but you only get water.
Which water?
Like you used to get in the fridge? Do you?
But you never get the answers.
As there are no answers
There is only flow
There is only the cycle.
The trinity of brahma vishnu and Mahesh.
The creater, the sustainer and the destroyer.
That is what it comes down to
The cycle.
But do the struggling feet and grappling hands around me know where they are in the cycle?
They are chasing the bottles in fridge only to discover that the water they get will become non desirable by the time they reach it.
the cycle goes on, only some wake up to discover.
To discover that ignorance is bliss and they were happy knowing not knowing.
so where are you?

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Why are we here

We were in a cab moving from Pune to Ranjangaon, when I fist heard about this fact and it has settled in my head like "inception", like a restless housefly.

"Tipu Sultan: The great warrior in India died around 1799, fighting wars in India"

" Circa 1780's in Europe Steam engines were being put to different usages"

What is the point? you may ask.

Well, point is a
'question' that i have not got an answer to ( like a zillion others).

Why are we Indians like this?
We have been way too far away to 'developments' as compared to the world, though we claim to be the most knowledgeable races. With the 'zero' and all the gyan in our 'vedas'

Why are we always unorganized and unruly mob like.

But all this is only the background clutter. Though the bigger question is "why are we here( on earth)".. the current question is why are some people in India though they can be in a "developed country" which is better in infrastructure AND Quality of Life?

Friday, July 09, 2010


When do you pause?
What do you pause ?
What happens when you pause?

Its good to pause once in a while. No?

It gives you time evaluate, touch base with your (that) past which led you to (this) present.
It empowers you to think and plan

So plan a pause and plan
Sent from my Nokia phone

Friday, June 25, 2010


What do you live for?
some of us live for today. Live in the present moment they say!
Some live for the tomorrow which keeps running in their minds. Oh the so elusive tomorrow.
And then there are those who live for the day after tomorrow... When this will happen then that will happen and when that happens THEN THAT will happen and then I will feel like .....
Feel like?
So it is the feeling..... Like this and like that, that we live for? Is it?
Our dreams, desires, projections of the future..... For the feeling
Feeling THAT moment
Plan to predict that exact moment to calculate that exact feeling which is to be felt Then!
But then! What all changes by Then?
How many moments passed?
To reach THAT moment?
Moment by moment, they just passed.
And we live on.....
Moment by moment for the moments

Friday, February 19, 2010


Where is the time?

Saturday, January 09, 2010


It is clearly a long time now that I wrote
Sitting in a train with the music playing I look back and try to remember when I would have dreamt or creating such a moment in my life
Maybe it was a movie I saw or an ad where the tech savvy hero is seen playing with his phone/ gizmo.
What is interesting to note is that my belief that making dreams a reality is strengthed year on year.
All we need is infinite bank of positively, time and perseverance. And its all possible
But all so often I am against the wall, trying to be certain of what I really want in my life?
It is elusive? Or is it like a puzzle that I need to solve?
It drives me to strange places in my head often.
I am often in awe when I see swarms of people all around running to meet their goals dreams and desires. But question is all of those things have happened, maybe not always. Most of the things they are trying to run behind are not new or different! That much Money, that car, that house, that promotion, that pat on the back from that person. . . .be like that person.
What else?
Maybe my current mind vision is limited. How many of us dream to do what has never been thought of. Do you have desires to dream and do what was never thought of?
this is probably why I like writing, it helps me clear my mind. I think I want to do something like that. Something so unique that its takes a good enough time for people around to absorb that what just happened here?
But the elusive question remains
What is that?
How to find that right driver for myself?
The driver that brings the desired change?